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KINGSTON, ONTARIO
M*
THE STORY
— OP —
JOHN AND JONATHAN,
BY TTRTICA.
\8*M U^
" Entered according to Act of Parliament of Canada in the year 1871, by
K. Urtica, in the Office of the Minister of Agriculture."
THE STORY
— OF —
JOHN AND JONATHAN.
In the olden time there dwelt on a beautiful island called
Albion a merchant by the name of Bull. John was his christian
name, and the one by which he was best known. A plain spoken
man was John Bull, powerful and strong as his namesake, very
blunt in his manner, and in appearance stout and broad-shouldered ;
very much like the pictures you may see in Punch of a jolly English
farmer, and which will give a very good idea of him generally.
However, like everybody else, he had his good and bad points, — he
was as stubborn as a mule, easily led but uncommon hard to drive,
had a strong will of his own that wouldn't brook dictation, and had
most of the failings common to obstinate people. He had inherited
the island from his ancestors, who had held it for generations, and
had likewise inherited from them a love for high-sounding names.
He was very wealthy — far more so than any of the landed proprie-
tors across the bit of water that divided them ; and, as a matter of
course, was a subject of envy to some of them, which, to say the
least, was very ungrateful on their part, especially as he had lent
every one of them money at various times. His tenantry were very
numerous, some of whom leased his land for agricultural purposes,
while others, being engaged in business like himself, had factories,
stores and warehouses, and traded with neighboring merchants.
John having a good eye to his own interests, generally derived a
great revenue from these sources, consequently he was looked up to
like a lord among the people who had great reverence for him.
On his part he treated them with great kindness and generosity,
built schools for their children, administered justice with imparti-
alitjr, and kept a strong police force to see that order prevailed among
them. But it was on holidays that John felt big, as on these days
he usually reviewed his police. On these occasions would he rig
himself out in a blue coat with brass buttons, tie a fancy coloured
garter round his knee, and stalk forth with all the dignity of an
Indian chief — at once the admiration and envy of all beholders.
Now John in his youth had been the terror of all the neigh-
bors on account of his great strength and courage, and they had
often appealed to him to decide their quarrels, which thankless task
he had sometimes undertaken to settle by the gentle persuasion of
a strong arm backed by a powerful bulldog.
Attempts had been made at various times to get hold of his
island, which was not very large, but always without success, for
his dog was ever on the alert ; and that sagacious animal always
barked very loud whenever an enemy came near. Once, however,
John came very near being despoiled by a Spanish merchant, who
lived on the opposite shore, and who at the time was powerful and
wealthy. He, thinking to take him unawares, sent a number of
men in boats to dispossess him of his island, — and no doubt thought
he had a sure thing of it ; but fortunately for John the dog barked
before they could get to shore, which awakened him, he being asleep
at the time. So he jumped up, and hearing their '-'war song," soon
collected a number of his tenantry, and set out in some of his small
boats to meet them; when after some hard knocks he had the good
fortune to swamp several of them, which frightened the others to
such an extent that they made home again ; but before they could
get back most of them were lost in a storm.
Only once since that time had John been in any danger,
though often threatened, and that was when another neighbour of
his named " Bony," who had boned a great deal from other people,
collected a number of men together for the purpose of making a
raid on him ; but seeing that his dog maintained his usual vigilance,
thought better of it and staid at home.
Now a short distance across the water from John's Island lived
a former protege of his, named Jonathan. Jonathan, who was a
young man, had been educated in his household and had served in
his employ, but upon attaining a good knowledge of business had
leased certain estates on the mainland belonging to John, who
owned a large amount of property in various parts. These estates
though uncultivated were very valuable, and only required a per-
son who understood their management to make them produce rich
crops of sugar, cotton and tobacco ; and Jonathan being a shrewd man
soon turned them to account by bringing across some of John's
tenantry to work them. In appearance Jonathan was tall and
slender, but tough as an oak sapling; in manner quaint and off-
handed — hard to get the better ot in a bargain, and keenly alive
where his interests were at stake, but withal good-natured and
generous. His favorite amusement was whittling a stick ; and it
had always been remarked that when indulging in this luxurious
propensity, it was harder to deal with him then than at any other
time. For a time everything went on well. John made a good
thing by monopolizing the right to sell groceries and dry goods to
Jonathan and his tenants ; and no doubt would have continued to
enjoy the large profits for a long time if it had not been for a
circumstance which happened, and which was caused by John's
avariciousness. Thinking the people would take it kindly, he sent
over a boat load of tea, and compelled them to pay a greater price
for the article than they would have had to pay other merchants,
which caused great indignation among them. So being determined
to resist the imposition, one dark night they disguised themselves,
and having thus obtained possession of the boat, overset all the tea
in the water and sent the boatman back to John with the news.
Now you may be sure that John was very indignant, not only
at losing his tea, but at the conduct of Jonathan and his tenants in
presuming to treat him with such contempt ; so he threatened them
with his dog and all sorts of things ; and thinking that it would be
an easy matter to make them repent of their rashness, he at once
sent a bailiff with a squad of policemen to frighten them ; but they
wern't so easily frightened, for they got hold of a fierce bird called
an eagle, which, every time John's men attempted to lay hold of
any of them, would swoop down and peck at their eyes ; whereupon
after being wounded a good deal, and finding the place too hot for
them, they were very glad to get back to the island without further
damage.
After these men had departed the people had great rejoicings
among themselves, and said unto each other, " Let us make merry."
Accordingly they made up a great procession, and marched up and
down headed by their fierce eagle, which they called " Twankay
Doodle," in commemoration of the boat load of Twankay, and
singing a song of which the following is a specimen : —
" Twankay Doodle came to town
And John's men he did scatter;
He struck his bailiff on the crown,
And so ' that's what's the matter.'
u Chorus. — Twankay Doodle, doodle do, Twankay was so handy ;
Twankay Doodle, doodle do, Twankay Doodle, dandy.
6
After this event, which proved to John the indiscretion of being
too high-handed by endeavoring to coerce people against their will,
he and Jonathan became once more friendly, and he formally made
over to him all his right and title to a part of the plantations and
estates owned by him in that section of country, while to his
daughter Canadia he gave the remainder.
And so it came to pass as years went by that Jonathan increased
in wealth and prosperity to a wonderful degree. He had built
houses and stores, and factories, and owned a number of boats, by
means of which he sent the produce of his plantations to distant
merchants, and brought back their goods in exchange, besides which
he had established quite a settlement by inviting some of the tenants
belonging to a sister of John's named Hibernia, not to mention a
large acquisition of "lager" and "krout" consumers, to come and live
with him. These people came over in large numbers and helped
him on his plantations, so that he was in a fair way in every respect
of rivalling his former patron, as well in the number of his tenants
and workmen as in the wealth derived from his business. Yet these
two neighbours though friendly to all appearance often eyed each
other with jealousy across the strip of water that divided them,
while the people and servants belonging to each abused one another
to their hearts' content. John found fault with Jonathan for med-
dling in what didn't concern him, and boasting too much about what
his eagle could do. While he on his part accused John of doing the
same with regard to his dog, and disliked him for what he was
pleased to term "his pride and arrogance." The latter complained
of the conduct of the former in the following manner, —
"Jonathan, my Jo, said John,
When you were still quite young,
I shielded you from every harm,
As Father would a Son ;
But when you grew to man's estate,
You treated we with scorn ;
You upset all my tea, said John, —
And trod upon my corn?
To which Jonathan replied, —
" Right well do I remember
That all you say is true,
In everything that happened, John,
Between myself and you ;
But still you quite forget, John,
In all you say of me,
That filthy lucre was the cause
Of watering your tea."
But what more than all caused a secret dislike between them was
the fact of Jonathan's coveting the portion of land comprising the
estates and plantations belonging to John's daughter Canadia, being
advised thereto by some bad counsellors he had about him, and which
had it not been for such advice would never have entered his brain.
Now Canadia was a fine, handsome girl, and in every respect a
dutiful daughter, and gave promise of a future blooming and grace-
ful womanhood. John was very proud of her, and had educated
her well in the duties that would devolve upon her in the manage-
ment of her estates, while she was fond of him,— consequently when
she was considered old enough to manage them he placed her in
possession of the estates above mentioned, which bordered on those
of Jonathan, and from which they were separated by means of a
small creek. Here she made herself quite contented and happy,
and conducted herself in such a manner towards her tenantry, by
administering to their wants and requirements, as to gain their
esteem and respect.
Ever since she had come to reside on her estates she had been
an object of marked attention on the part of Jonathan, who having
grown ambitious in consequence of his increasing wealth, like many
other men under such circumstances, cast a longing eye on her fair
domains to the end that he might obtain possession of them, while
the more he gazed on them the more did his ambition soar, until
he cursed himself for a fool that he had not when John and himself
were at loggerheads claimed them along with the other estates.
However, thinking of the old adage, " better late than never," he
cast about him for some means to accomplish his purpose. One or
two plans seemed feasible, — the first was to make it appear to John
that he had a great interest in her welfare, and that her estates
would thrive much better under his guidance and protection ; the
other was, failing this, to annoy John and herself in such a manner
that for the sake of peace and quietness he would place. her under his
protection.
To carry out the first of these plans he immediately set to
work, but in such a manner as not to arouse John's suspicions as to
his real intentions, for he well knew that if that individual divined
his purpose the whole force of his power would be exerted to thwart
his object, so he cautiously set to work to sound Canadia on the
subject ; but finding that the idea of being under his protection found
no favor in her eyes, relinquished that idea ; while on the other
hand it provoked Canadia very, much for him to pretend to think
she was not old enough or capable of managing her estates, and she
often felt like crying with indignation at the thought of it, but
having a pretty strong will of her own like most young ladies — for
" When they will, they will — you may depend on't —
And when they won't, they won't, — and there's an end on't."
she determined to show him that although she did manage her affairs
by a different system of book-keeping to his, — being an old style
that John had recommended as being the safest from his own expe-
rience, — she could do very well without his guidance ; so to relieve
her mind she composed the following verse : —
" Miss Canadia is my name,
My friends all call me so ;
And if you want my real estate,
My answer's — not for Joe.
" Chorus — Oh ! no, no, not for Jo ; not for Jonathan, oh ! dear no. w
9
Foiled in this endeavor, and being a man of strong will, he
bethought him of other means to gain his ends ; so having hitherto
been on friendly terms with Canadia, he resolved to hold no further
communication with her, or to allow his people to trade with her's,
as they had been in the habit of doing. Therefore having notified
her to that effect, he determined rigidly to adhere to his resolution,
the result of which was that a coolness sprung np between them ;
whereupon, to further show him she could do without his aid, she
sent him the following lines — with her compliments : —
" Our friendship, 'twould seem, has all been a dream,
In the matter betwixt me a*nd you ;
Though you act like a foe, I'd have you to know
I can paddle my own canoe.
" For though you were rude, I did not conclude
As a friend you would prove untrue ;
So I'll never depend again on a friend, ;
For I'll paddle my own canoe.
Now when Jonathan had done this thing, one or two of Canadia's
tenants, for reasons best known to themselves, urged her to unite
her estates to his, saying : — " We shall all be ruined ; what shall we
do for nutmegs of wood, or hams of basswood, unless we trade with
these people." Besides they told her that John no longer cared about
her, or would protect her if Jonathan should take it into his head to
seize her lands. For said they — " has he not already withdrawn the
watchmen and police that he placed here to guard you from any
evil that might happen to you." Now this latter was a fact; and
when she came to think over what had been said to her by these
people, grave doubts and fears disturbed her as to John's reasons for
so doing. So she remonstrated with him, and wished to know if he
intended to leave her unprotected. But John answered her in his
blunt way : — " Never you mind, Canadia, about what anybody may
tell you as to my reasons for doing what I have done ; but remem-
ber this, as I have before, so I shall again, defend you to the utmost
with my dog, should cause require it — you have my word for it."
With this answer she was perfectly satisfied ; and though one or
two still grumbled, the rest of her people had full confidence in
John's word and power to back it.
Jonathan still continued to agitate and perplex by unfriendly
and unneighborly conduct, and determined to avail himself of certain
events which had occurred a short while before, and which had
caused bitter animosity to spring up between himself and John.
10
It would seem that when everything was looking prosperous
for Jonathan, — when his plantations were yielding abundant crops
of sugar, cotton and tobacco, and his heart was rendered joyous
with the thought of his prosperity and the money that was flowing
plentifully into the coffers of his saving bank, — a disturbance took
place on some of his plantations that caused him a great deal of
annoyance, and which arose in the following manner. He had
leased certain plantations to some of his people, who compelled a
number of slaves to work them ; and by all accounts were not very
kind in their treatment of these unfortunates. This arousing the
indignation of some people who lived on another part of his estates,
they frequently aided the poor slaves to escape, which, of course,
was a constant source of bitter quarrels between them. It got so bad
at last that Jonathan being complained to about it, decided against
the slave-owners, which caused great indignation among them. So
they determined to rebel against his authority on the first opportu-
nity, which soon after happening, they openly defied him to interfere
in their affairs, informing him at the same time that they intended
to manage their own farms without his aid, and should no longer
pay him rent for them. You may be sure he was indignant at such
conduct on their part ; and when soon after they elected a person
named Jeff, as a sort of overseer, he determined to make them pay
up for their insolence. To this end he sent a bailiff to read the
Eiot Act, and a number of men to take possession of their farms ;
but unfortunately for those he sent they were not strong enough,
for the insurgents beat them back, and even killed some of them.
When Jonathan heard the news his wrath and indignation
could not contain itself. He at once ordered a strong force of
policemen, and appointed several special constables to arrest and
bring back the ringleaders. In the meantime the rioters themselves
had not been idle, for, knowing what Jonathan was about, they
assembled together and barricaded their houses, and collected heaps
of mud and stones to hurl at any force he might send against them.
So when his men came the second time, they found it much harder
work than they expected, although they were well provided with
stones and pea shooters. The row w^axed fierce for a long time, and
blood was spilt on both sides ; but at last Jonathan's suj:>erior force
conquered. He set free all the slaves, and scrubbed them down
with a brush called the " Fifteenth Amendment," which made them
quite equal in every respect to his other tenants.
" For nothing's so good to make slaves independent,
As a scrub of the brush called the Fifteenth Amendment."
11
Now the rioters had called upon John for assistance; but he being
friendly with Jonathan, did not wish to interfere, though urged to
do so by a powerful friend named Louis ; but at last being pressed
hard by their condition, he went so far as to acknowledge their right
to rebel. This didn't gain him any thanks from either party, but
only succeeded in making Jonathan indignant. One of his plans
for subduing the rioters was to starve them out, and for that purpose
he kept a number of boats along the shore to intercept any provis-
ions that might be sent them. John denied his right to do this, for
according to certain understood police regulations, Jonathan had no
right to block up his own shore. While things were in this state,
John's ship-builder, at their request, built a boat for these rioters,
which when finished they filled with men who laid wait for any of
Jonathan's that might be loaded with cotton, or sugar, or tobacco ;
and whenever they came across any they scuttled them and
destroyed their contents. In this way they did a great deal
of damage, for which he accordingly held John responsible,
and demanded compensation for the losses sustained by him.
John, however, refused to hold himself responsible, and said
that it wasn't his fault that the boat in question had done
such damage, for said he: "You know very well, Jonathan, that
if any of my people had gone to your boat-builder, to have a boat
made, you would have allowed him to do it, even though you knew
it was going to be used against me ; and if I had made a claim
against you for damages, you would have laughed at me for my
pains ; besides it seems to me very singular that after your talking
so much about the new kind of boats you built a short while ago to
act as guards on your shore, that so much injury should have been
caused by the one in question. Now, if you like, I'll leave the
matter to be decided by any two of our mutual friends who may
have an interest in the question as well as ourselves." " Who do
you mean," replied Jonathan. « Why, W T illiam and Louis, for
instance— any one but Aleck, for he wouldn't give a just decision,
being friendly with you, but hating me like poison for the thrashing
that my dog gave his bear a short while ago." '• No," said Jonathan,
" I don't want any one to decide on what I consider to be a just claim,
besides Louis is very sick at present, and couldn't attend to the
matter — so down with the dust, John." "You've got such a
peculiar way of speaking through your nose," said John, " that
I'm not certain that I heard that last remark of yours aright,"
" Why, the meaning of it was that 1 want you to fork out the
stamps." " Fork out the stamps," said John ; « where did you pick
12
Up all these queer expressions; you never learnt them from me. " 1
should think not," said Jonathan, " I guess you'r rather too slow for
this individual ; " and not being in a frame of mind to be argued
Avith, he refused to withdraw his claim and went away whittling
his stick. John at last, by the advice of his head manager — a
person named William — consented to pay him a fatr sum in com-
pensation for his losses, as he was always willing to acknowledge
himself in the wrong when once convinced of the fact, besides
William said, — " you had much better pay the claim, and then you
can make one against him for those boats of yours that he destroyed
when they were carrying provisions to the rioters, and which he
had no right to touch.
But though he was willing, as we have shewn, to pay the claim,
it wasn't Jonathan's intention to allow matters to be settled so
easily. It wasn't the money so much that he wanted as to have a
standing claim against John for purposes best known to himself,
therefore, by the advice of his overseer, he determined to make
further demands on him, which he knew would be rejected.
Accordingly he sent in a bigger amount, on the plea that the first
did not cover all the claims, but which John refused to pay.
His main object in all this was to worry him into bartering
Canadia's estates, or to place her, as we said before, under his pro-
tection ; and as she had recently complained of certain outrages
committed by some of his people on her property, the object of
which we will proceed to show, he thought that this circumstance
would afford an additional proof of the need of that protection.
We made former mention of John having a sister named
Hibernia, He had full charge of her estates, but, to tell the truth,
hadn't treated her kindly. On the contrary, until his eyes were
opened to the fact, he had been very harsh with her, and refused
to allow T her to have much to say in her concerns. She lived on an
island close to his own, from which it was separated by about
30 feet of water. She had often complained of his injustice towards
her. and the thought of it rankled in her breast. Many of her
tenants not liking his style of management, on an invitation from
Jonathan, went across to live with him, where they were well
treated and had given to them each a piece of land whereon to
build a house. Great credit is due to Jonathan for the manner in
Avhich he treated all who came to live on his estates ; and as his
motto was to treat every one alike, he carried out the principle to
its fullest extent.
13
Having become numerous, and wishing* to revenge themselves
on John, these people bethought them that to annoy Canadia would
be a good way of retalliation. So they collected together on the
shore of the creek, and pelted stones and rotten eggs at her people
on the opposite side. Some of them likewise came across and
threatened to turn her out of her plantations and destroy her crops.
So she demanded of Jonathan his reason for allowing them to
molest her ; but he quietly answered that> he had done his best to
prevent them from crossing, but his constable and police hadn't
been in time. Seeing that she could not depend upon him, there-
fore she collected her people, who were boiling with indignation at
the outrage, and the marauders having crossed the creek, they fell
upon them and captured some, while the rest turned tail and fled in
disorder. Those that were taken would have paid the penalty of
their rashness with their lives, such was the fury of her people, had
it not been for Canadia herself, who said to them : " Let us temper
justice with mercy, and show these people that while we have con-
tempt for their cowardly outrage we can still afford to be generous."
So after allowing a good number of them to return to their homes,
the worst she imprisoned in a strong house with iron doors and
windows. John hearing about this began to grumble, and his dog
began to growl ; so he said to Jonathan, who was taking things very
coolly and whistling " Twankay Doodle," — " How's this, Jonathan,
why did'nt you prevent these people of yours from molesting
Canadia? you'r responsible for their actions." But you don't sup-
pose," said Jonathan, " that it's my business to protect her shores,
do you ? " You don't get out of it that way," said John, indignant
at the cool manner of the other. " You'r responsible for their
actions; there was no end to the fuss you made about that ' boat,'
for which you want me to pay such heavy damages, simply because
it was built on my island ; you know very well you ought to be
ashamed of yourself to allow such things to happen, while at the
same time you boast about your farms and plantations being mana-
ged by a better system than any of your neighbors ; pretty
management it must be, certainly, when you are unable to prevent
a number of ruffians from sacking other people's property ; if I am
responsible for damage done by a boat, you are doubly liable for
this." "But I did my best to prevent them," said Jonathan.
" Indeed, if it hadn't been for my interference, Canadia would have
suffered a great deal more than she did. I sent a special constable
who arrested the ringleaders and imprisoned them, and made the
rest skedaddle ; " so you can't say I looked on without interfering."
14
" Skedaddle," said John in amazement, — " I never heard of such a
word ; what does it mean ?" " It's one of my own invention," said
Jonathan, " and means that they ' sloped,' or ran as you would
express it. I take pride to myself that since I've been over here
I've invented enough new words to fill a good-sized dictionary, and
intend to publish them some day." " 'Skedaddle' and 'slope,'" said
John, — " I didn't know but what it meant that you hung them ; how-
ever, if that's the case, thank you for your assistance. I was under
the impression, from what Canadia told me, that it was her people
that drove them back. You know it is my business to protect her."
''I know it is," answered Jonathan, " but if she was under my pro-
tection these raids wouldn't take place, and I think the best ing
you could do would be to place her under my care." "That's a
matter of her own choosing entirely," said John. "If she thinks
that your protection would be safer than mine, she is at perfect
liberty to have it ; but what she should want protection for — you
being her only neighbor — is more than I can understand." "But,"
said Jonathan, ignoring these last words, " see what progress she
and her people would make under the protecting wings of my
eagle." "Certainly you have a right to think so, although the
remark is not very nattering to me ; but why do you desire it so
much." " Oh ! it makes no difference to me," replied Jonathan.
" My only reason for mentioning the subject at all was that I thought
you were going to leave her to protect herself, having withdrawn
your police force from her estates." " Not at all," said John. " My
reasons for removing the police force you speak about were that I
had perfect confidence in your friendliness, Jonathan, to Canadia and
myself, otherwise I should not have done so ; and I begin now to
perceive that she was right when she remonstrated with me for so
doing at the time." " But you don't mean to tell me," replied
Jonathan, " that your dog, being with you on the island, is as safe
a protection for her in time of danger, as my eagle. Yon don't
mean to tell me that, John." "What I do mean to tell you, Jona-
than, is that I am not in the habit of boasting much about my dog,
though if I was it might be pardonable considering the many times
he has faithfully guarded my shores, not to speak of the number of
thrashings he has given to so many prowling animals abroad.
Canadia, herself, has full trust in his power to defend her should she
require him.
This conversation having settled the matter, affairs went on in
in their usual order for some time, until another event happened
which again roused Jonathan's anger.
15
It must be remembered that when his people and Canadia's
were on friendly terms with each other, and traded among them-
selves in a neighborly way, her fish ponds were used to a consider-
able extent by his tenants, who supplied themselves with nice fresh
iish therefrom, and were allowed to fish as much as they liked
without interruption. But when he forbid his people to trade with
her's, thinking by that means to force her into a union with him,
she naturally resented the action by preventing any one from his
side to fish as formerly. However, by John's advice and hoping
that Jonathan would think better of his purpose, she had still
allowed them do so ; but at last seeing that such a favor on her part
produced no corresponding effect on his, she determined at once to
assert her dignity by withdrawing her consent. So having sum-
moned her gamekeeper, whose name was Peter, she told him to keep
a strict watch on the ponds, and if he found any of Jonathan's
people fishing thereon to seize them and their fishing rods, and have
them brought before her. Peter having received his orders caused
a notice to that effect to be sent to Jonathan, and proceeded to carry
out his plans. To this end he hid himself behind some bushes, and
patiently kept watch. He had not long to wait however, for soon
along came the poachers, who were immediately pounced upon by
him, and brought before Canadia, who took away their boats and
fishing rods and tackle and sold them.
This proceeding on her part made Jonathan furious, and as he
held John responsible for her conduct he applied to him for redress,
so he said : " Look here friend John, you must either allow me to
manage Canadia's affairs for her, or take the consequences, as I
don't intend any longer to have my people abused and insulted in
such a manner." "How do you make that out?" said John
quite calmly. " Why, has'nt that gamekeeper of her's seized fishing
boats and tackle belonging to my tenants, and didn't she sell them?"
"Who owned the fish ponds?" said John. "Who owned the fish
ponds ? Who owned the fish ponds ? — Why — Why I have as much
right to them as she has ; her right only extends a short distance
from the shore, and my people tell me that when seized they were
fishing outside that limit." So Peter was called to give his evidence
and he said : " When I was hiding behind the bushes on the look-out
for poachers, I waited until I saw the people in question draw in
close to shore, when I pounced upon them, and took possession of
their boats and fishing rods, as I had been directed to do." " 1
think that evidence ought to settle the question," said John, " Can-
adia has acted perfectly right in what she has done, and had the
17
case been reversed you would have done the same. She allowed
your people to fish for a long time, even after you had forbidden
hers to sell any on your side ; she allowed your boats to pass down
the creek, and gave them the right to use the ditches on her side,
which had cost so much time and labor to dig out, although when
she wanted to send one of her boats through a small one belonging
to you, you ungraciously refused it." " I had good reasons for doing
so," replied Jonathan, " when she wanted me to allow that boat to
pass through the ditch you speak of, it was loaded with stones and
pea shooters, which you are well aware, according to a rule agreed
upon between us, I had a right to refuse, but
It seems to me quite plain, John,
You think yourself ' old pie,'
You don't come over me, John,
So « how is that for high ?' "
I suppose that's some more of the new dictionary," said John. " I
reckon so ; but that a'int a circumstance to some of my lofty nights,
" you bet ;" but as I came here to talk business, I'll finish what I had
to say, which is this, John : — ' I don't intend to stand any more non-
sense ; I have been outrageously treated, and if the like happens again
I shall unchain my eagle and cast him loose to prey upon that dog of
yours.' That's my ultimatum." After saying which he went to
take counsel with his head overseer, a man named Ulysses S. G-.,
who after hearing what he had to say in the matter, replied that he
had never heard anything to equal it for impertinence. " The idea
of Canadia preventing your people from fishing when and where
they please ; the thing is ridiculous ; seize on her estates at once,
and see how she and John will like that settlement for damages."
"I think I will," said Jonathan, " but I don't like to push matters
too far, because." "Because what — because you are too modest,
Jonathan ? that's what's the matter with you. You allow yourself
to be imposed on. You know that Canadia's estates should have
been yours by right long ago. Don't you remember the time you
said you would never allow any one but yourself to own any land
along this shore." " Yes, but then I never had an actual right to
Canadia's portion, for according to an agreement between John and
myself, the lands she occupies were reserved to him." u Don't talk
to me about agreements. Agreements, indeed. I'd like to know
who keep agreements now-a-days. Doesn't your friend Aleck, who
owns the bear, intend to break the agreement he made to keep it
from eating up that turkey, that John and the others made such a
fuss about. Then why should you keep yours. You don't under-
IS
■stand John. I've watched him a long time, and have come to the
conclusion that nothing but bullying will have any effect on him.
.Bully him if you want to get your rights-that's the secret. How-
ever, leave the matter to me and I'll find a way to settle it."
This was the kind of advice Jonathan had instilled into him to
inflame his passions. Well disposed and peaceable if left alone, he
would have been quite willing to have lived on friendly terms with
tanadia. But this was not the purpose either of Ulysses, or a still
19
worse adviser of his named Ben Bolt. Ulysses was not the right
stamp of man for the position of overseer, — didn't know one crop
from another, or for that matter, anything whatever about farming,
which disgusted the agricultural portion of the people. He wasn't
a bad man by any means, but one of those who, like many more
under similar circumstances, are not " the right men in the right
place." He was always getting in hot water with some of the
people, who were very hard indeed to please ; and unfortunately for
him he couldn't defend himself by abusing them in return, being a
man of few words, and remarkable in that respect — a high-flown
style of oratory being in those days considered a great acquisition-
Previous to being made overseer he had been Jonathan's " Chief of
Police," and in that capacity had rendered him great service, and
also made himself extremely popular among the tenantry, who at
that time found words unable to express their sense of admiration,
making the initials of his name to read " Ulysses So Great," and
by their advice besought Jonathan to make him overseer. To give
him his due he had deserved all this, having shown great ability and
judgment in his former capacity, and being well up to the work
should never have left it. He had subdued the rioters at the time
of the great row, and had displayed great skill in his manner of
doing so, therefore Jonathan looked to him for counsel, judging that
from his great experience he would advise him aright. But he
hadn't been a good adviser by any means. It was he who had urged
him to claim Canadia's estates ; and when she had begged Jonathan
to allow her people to trade with his as formerly, he advised him to
refuse it.
Ben Bolt was a different man to Ulysses. While the latter was
worthy in many respects, the former was a spooney sort of indivi-
dual and fit for little. Abuse of John and all belonging to him was
his peculiar forte. He was a constable of Jonathan's, but unable to
follow his profession in consequence of being afflicted with a disease
called " kleptomania," — which raged at that period to a great extent,
and the principal feature of which was a nervous grasp of the fin-
gers when in the vicinity of plate. Ben in appearance was childlike
and bland, and had many of the little characteristics so peculiar to
the " heathen Chinee," and
" For ways that were dark,
And for tricks that were vain,
This Benjamin Bolt was peculiar —
Which the same I am free to proclaim."
He had often advised Jonathan to take forcible possession of
Canadia's estates ; and when the events relating to the seizure of his
20
BEN BOLT.
people for poaching had occurred, his rage and abuse of her knew
no bounds ; and if. matters had been left to his management he
would have constituted himself judge and jury in the case.
Ulysses, therefore, after leaving Jonathan, sought out Ben, and
they set their heads together for the purpose of devising a plan to
settle matters. " I think," said Ben, " We had better advise Jona-
than to demand all the farms and estates possessed by John in
various parts, including Canadia's, as part compensation for all
claims against him." "Not so fast," said Ulysses, — "you'd make a
nice mess of the whole affair." " How do you mean ? Hasn't
Jonathan got claims against him for the damage done by ' that
boat,' and also for the fishing rods and things that were seized by
Canadia, which taken altogether would amount to more than the
whole of them." " Perhaps it would in your estimation," said
Ulysses, " but let me tell you that John won't be found in a hurry to
part with any of them, least of all Canadia's. If we could get her
estates I should like it very much, for I've been over them and
21
know what they are worth. You see our plantations are getting
filled up while the best of her's are still uncultivated, besides her
ditches on the creek would be of great service to us in carrying the
produce from our western estates." " Why," said Ben, " if the place
is as valuable as you say it is, I'll ask Jonathan to make me over-
seer when he gets it." " I don't think you'd suit at all, my dear
fellow. You see the people are not accustomed to your ways, and
that unfortunate affliction of yours would make it very unpleasant,
you know." " Oh ! 1 wouldn't mind that in the least. Why, when
I was down there," said Ben, pointing south, — " you remember —
you know where I mean — the place where I first took the disease —
the people didn't mind it after a while. Why they composed the
following verses to my memory : —
" When Ben came down to our town
To see what he could get,
He took a fancy to our plate,
He's got that fancy yet.
" For while the people trusted him,
He helped himself at will,
By bolting off with all their plate,
He's got it with him still."
" It wasn't that we cared so much
About the loss of pelf;
But being fooled in such a way —
' You know how 'tis yourself.'
" And some of us still mourn and fret
About the matter yet, —
When we lay hold of Benjamin,
We'll ' cook his goose ' — ' you bet.'"
" What do you think of that ?" "I think the style rather low,"
said Ulysses. " What do you mean my style was ?" " Oh no ! I
think that was rather high. I meant the verses. However that's
not the question. Our business is to propose a good plan to Jona-
than to settle this affair ; and I've hit upon a capital idea." " Tell
us what it is," said Ben. " Why you know, when I made that great
speech of mine, about what we'd do if we didn't have satisfaction for
the outrages inflicted on us, Canadia proposed to John that two or
three of his most trusted tenants should be chosen by him, and a
like number by Jonathan to settle that fish pond business." " I
know it," said Ben, "but what of that?" "Well I shall advise
Jonathan to agree to it on one condition, that is, that all disputed
questions shall be brought before them for settlement, and as we
have always got the best of the bargain when any matters between
us have been settled in this manner, I think it will go hard with us
if we can't do the same again." " But why not send some one, one
22
of Jonathan's travelling agents for instance, to demand an instant
settlement. Why if I was sent over I'd have the question put before
John in black and white." " We've tried that before, and it wont
answer." "Why, do you mean to say he refuses to give any satis-
faction ?" " No, not exactly that, he offered to settle that matter of
1 the boat,' but wouldn't agree to all of Jonathan's demands, besides,
when we sent over an agent to have our full claims established,
John fed him uj) and nattered him to such an extent, that not being
accustomed to the style in which he was treated, he would have
agreed to everything that was proposed to him, if Jonathan hadn't
sent him word to come back immediately. So that plan won't do ;
while the other in my opinion is just the thing, for there are no
people so easy to get over as John's, if you only know how to treat
them; let them think they know everything and you have them.
Do you see that plantation over there that borders on Canadia's? "
" I do," said Ben. " Well there's a laughable story in connection
with that piece of ground which will prove how easy it is to
' euchre' any of John's people. It's not everybody that knows it, but
that belongs to John by right, and when he sent over a surveyor
named Ash, to divide these grounds from Canadia's, Jonathan also
sent one called Dan. One day while running the lines, a dispute
arose about the land in question ; so after a while, Dan, knowing he
was in the wrong, asked the other if he could play a new game at
cards called < euchre.' Ash, thinking it beneath him to display
ignorance of anything pretended he knew all about it, upon which
Dan proposed a game to settle the matter, which rather astonished
Ash, who gazed steadily at Dan through a piece of glass to see if he
was joking, but finding he was in earnest, and not liking to back
out, he agreed to the proposal. Now you know what our people
'are at euchre." " I rather think I do," said Ben, " why you remem-
ber when I was down in New " " Don't interrupt me," said
Ulysses ; " let me finish the story. So they sat down on the grass
to play while Dan dealt the cards.
" Which his name it was Dan was Jonathan's man,
He dealt out the other a hand,
Which the other he thought was kind on his part,
As the game he did not understand."
So you may be sure the other hadn't much chance with Dan,
who ran out the game before Ash had scored a point, much to his
disgust.
That's how John got " euchred " out of that plantation, which
circumstance caused the term ever afterwards to be applied to any
one who has been imposed upon.
23
" That's just my style," said Ben. " But if you want my opin-
ion as to what demands should be made on John for his outrageous
conduct, here they are: — I would advise that Jonathan insist upon
an immediate settlement on the following terms, viz. : That John
make over to him all his right and title to certain small farms and
estates owned by him in various parts, such as those on the other
side there, which he calls his eastern plantations, together with the
Emerald Isle and half a dozen others not worth mentioning, as part
compensation for the damage committed by ' that boat,' while as an
offset to the fish pond claims I think the least he could ask would
be to have possession of Canadia's estates. Nothing less should be
accepted by Jonathan. Them's my sentiments." " You don't know
what yon'r talking about," said Ulysses. " Why John would as
soon part with his island as any of them." " Well, I don't know
but what he might have to part with that yet if he doesn't behave
himself. I know this much, Jonathan has only got to say the word
to a few such men as myself, and we wouldn't leave him an inch of
ground to stand on." <• If buncombe would do it, I know of no one
better qualified for the undertaking than yourself," said Ulysses;
" and it seems to me that if a prize belt was given for a champion
abuser, instead of bruiser, two to one on you would be a safe bet."
Saying which he left Ben rehearsing a speech on John and his dog.
Now it was the custom of Jonathan's overseer to write a letter
once a year to his tenants, giving them an idea of the amount of
rent that the estates had brought in, and how much goods his
people had traded away. He would also tell them whether their
neighbours had more corn or cotton, or tobacco, or more boats than
Jonathan had, and all about how happy his tenants ought to be to
have the eagle's wings to overshadow them, and reviewed the prin-
cipal events that had occurred between them and their neighbours
during the past year. And so it happened, that Ulysses being riled
that Peter, Canadia's gamekeeper, had seized some of the boats and
fishing rods and lines, belonging to Jonathan's people, and urged on
by Ben Bolt, he wrote in this wise : " that Canadia had acted in a
very unfriendly manner in not letting them fish in her ponds, or go
through her creeks and ditches with her boats, and that if she acted
so again he would prevent John from sending her any goods through
his plantations, for you know," said he, "that when her miserable
creeks m-efriz up. the dresses and things that John sends her go
through these estates, but I'll be goldarned if she mayn't go naked
all the winter before she shall get her dresses and goods through
these farms if she serves me so again."
u
Now when Canadia had reviewed a copy of the letter, the color
mounted on her cheek with indignation. " What," she said, " adding
insult .to injury ; charging me with unfriendliness when year after
year I have let his people fish in my ponds, and his boats to have
free use of my creeks and ditches to take his goods to and from his
farms. What possesses the man. Does he know that he stands
convicted of false statements." Then calling her head manager, she
said, — " This matter I confide to your care. You must show my
worthy father, John, and my neighbor Jonathan and his peo})le,
that their overseer has either wantonly or in ignorance made mis-
statements concerning me. Assemble the people and we will take
the matter into immediate consideration." Whereupon they assem-
bled in haste, and Canadia addressing them said," — " You know how
year after year I have sought to live peaceably with all my neigh-
bours, and have ever offered them the right hand of fellowship.
You are aware, also, how often I have been molested by the baser
sort of Jonathan's tenantry, without his overseer or bailiffs seeking
to prevent them. You know how these men, called Finnegans, came
over the creek and robbed some of my tenants of their sheep and
poultry ; and you know that when they resisted them and drove
them back again, it was not without some of my people being-
killed and lamed by the big stones that were thrown at them ; and
also on a recent occasion, when these same men made another
attempt and were again driven back — that Jonathan's overseer,
under a show of friendship, arrested some of them, but soon let
them go again. Thus much for friendship. Furthermore, you are
aware that some time since Jonathan, John and myself made an
agreement that our people might buy and sell their goods to each
other, and that our fish ponds should be in common. Well, although
I can't but think that Jonathan's people were the gainers by the
arrangement, yet I did not murmur ; and when after a time the
agreement was broken — by whom was it broken ? Why, by him-
self and people. You are aware that even after that, at the wish of
my father John, I allowed his people to fish in my ponds. Seeing,
however, that all my friendship was of no avail, I caused my head
manager to write to Jonathan's overseer to tell him I would no
longer allow their boats to fish, and I instructed my gamekeeper,
Peter, to seize any that after this notice should attempt to fish. He
obeyed my instructions ; and because he did so, I am charged with
unfriendliness. This cannot go on any longer, and I shall therefore
appoint certain among you to consult as to the best means to bring
these matters to a close."
25
" Oh many a time when I'm sad at heart,
And havn't a word to say,
I've thought of this conduct on Jonathan's part,
And his obstinate, selfish way.
For Ulysses has said in his buncome speech
That Canadia's saucy and bold,
But I'd have him to know, ' come weal, come woe,'
I'll neither be bought nor sold."
Chorus. — " So I tell him he needn't come wooing to me,
For my heart's with John, far over the sea,
So I tell him he needn't come wooing to me,
For my heart, my heart is over the sea."
Whereupon, after grave deliberation among those appointed, it
was resolved that Canadia should lay all the facts of the case before
John, and request him to send one or two of his chief men to Jona-
than, to lay before him the grievances of which she complained, and
to endeavour to come to some mutual understanding on the subjects
between them. Now when John received Canadia's letter he gave
it careful consideration, and seeing that she had acted with great
discretion, and in the matter of the fishing boats had been guided by
his advice, he immediately consented to do what she desired.
And so it came to pass that John having consulted his head man
William, sent over two or three of his most trusted tenants to settle all
disputes between himself and Jonathan, and knowing that Canadia's
head manager, having had charge of her estates for a long time, had
done much by his ability to place them in the thriving and prosper-
ous condition for which they were remarkable, and had besides a
full knowledge of all her affairs, and was well acquainted with all
the circumstances of the disputes between herself and Jonathan,
he appointed him along with the others, to represent her. These
men therefore, together with a like number of Jonathan's wisest
tenants, appointed by him to meet them, assembled in his principal
place of business, and as the right to fish in certain parts of Cana-
dia's fish ponds was the first question requiring settlement, her head
manager arose and said, that as it devolved on him as Canadia's rep-
resentative, to lay before them certain facts in regard to the ques-
tion, and of which in his capacity he had had great opportunities of
judging, and trusting to common sense and liberality of spirit to
adjust them, he would be brief in his remarks. As to the origin of
Jonathan's right to fish in Canadia's ponds, so long as his estates
constituted a part of John's property his people had the right of
enjoyment of them as well as Canadia's, but when he became sepa-
rated from John, he had no right to claim otherwise than by agree-
ment, the exercises of privileges belonging to her.
For if it was contended on the part of Jonathan that in conse-
quence of his estates having once belonged to John, he was entitled
to all the rights and privileges of his and Canadia's people, so might
John and she in like manner claim the same rights in regard to the
privileges enjoyed by Jonathan and his people — which would be
absurd. Therefore, he presumed that the agreement made in the
year ten thousand eight hundred and eighteen between John and
Jonathan would he the proper basis on which to regulate the settle-
ment of this important question.
Now this agreement stated that the people of Jonathan should
have forever, in common with those of John (and, of course, Cana-
dia's also), the liberty to take fish of every kind on certain parts of
her shores and ponds ; and that Jonathan's people should also have
the liberty forever to dry their fish on the shore of any of the inlets
or creeks of the said ponds ; but so soon as the same or any portion
thereof should be settled by John's people, it should not be lawful
for Jonathan's people to fish on such portions so settled without
previous agreement for such purpose with the people living on the
shores ; and Jonathan hereby renounces forever any liberty hereto-
fore enjoyed or claimed by his people to take or dry fish on or
within three yards of any of the creeks or inlets of Canadia's ponds.
Provided, however, that his people should be admitted to enter such
creeks or inlets for the purpose of shelter from storms, or repairing
their boats, or obtaining wood to make a fire or fresh water to take
a drink.
"This then was the agreement which conveyed to Jonathan
and his people the right of catching and drying fish." After which,
he proceeded to show in what manner this agreement had been vio-
lated, and entered minutely into the details of the question, and con-
cluded by stating " that with regard to the general question of
Jonathan's right of fishing, it would be conceded by all that if he
had a right to forbid her people from participating in the privileges
enjoyed by his own, she on her part had an equal right to prevent
his from fishing within certain limits in her ponds, and as he had
been the first to abrogate a recent agreement between them which
had given the people of each certain privileges in common, he could
not complain if Canadia had exercised her just rights in the premi-
ses by confiscating the boats and fishing rods belonging to his people,
for fishing in certain parts of the ponds belonging to herself." He
further stated " that when the free right to trade had existed be-
tween them Canadia had always endeavoured on her part to foster
the spirit of friendship prevailing at that time, but if she had since
shewn any resentment, it was on account of the threatening attitude
of himself and people towards her, and as an evidence that she had
no ill feeling towards him or them, he would point to the fact that
27
she still allowed his boats the use of her ditches and creeks in com-
mon with her own, while he refused to extend the same courtesy
to her. Such being the chief facts in regard to the case the ques-
tion stood thus : Should we or should we not resume our former
agreement ? This he concluded to be the main question at issue
between them, which he would leave to their spirit of justice and
liberality to decide.
After Canadia's head manager had finished, the chief of John's
party arose, and having related all the tacts in regard to the damage
done by ' the boat,' and argued on the chief points in connection
therewith, which were handled by him with great ability, concluded
by stating that — " Having thus far placed the question before them
in all its bearings, and given them his views as to the best means of
settlement, he would briefly review the circumstances and touch
lightly on the chief points of the case. As he had shown, the boat
in question had been built on John's island without his knowledge
of the purpose for which it was intended, and ostensibly for the
purpose of trading ; but when informed of its object he had taken
immediate steps to detain it, but unfortunately too late. Whereupon,
having escaped, it afterwards took on board a number of stones and
pea-shooters, by means of which it caused serious damage to Jona-
than's commerce, by destroying a large number of his boats laden
with goods; in consequence of which damage, John was held
responsible by him for having allowed the said boat to leave his
shore. These in few words were the facts of the case, which resol-
ved themselves into the following question, viz : — Had John violated
the agreement made between the neighbors ? If he had, then also
had Jonathan, inasmuch as according to the same rules and regula-
tions, he had no right to block up his own shore or destroy the boats
and property belonging to John's people for trading with the rioters ;
besides, according to the same rules, he was responsible for allowing
his people to cross over into Canadia's plantations for the avowed
purpose of stealing her sheep and poultry." " But," said one of
Jonathan's people, "John himself acknowledged that the raids
committed on Canadia's estates had been prevented by Jonathan,
and at the same time thanked him for having done so — how then do
you make out that he is responsible ?" " John certainly did thank
him, not for preventing the damage, but for attempting to prevent it ;
but it seems to me that it's only common sense to suppose that if
John is to be held responsible for not having been in time to seize
the boat that did such damage to Jonathan, in the same degree is he
responsible to John for not having prevented the damage to Cana-
dia's property, and which her head manager here can testify to, he
2S
having by her instructions paid several pieces of brass (this was the
brazen age,) to her tenants as indemnity for their losses.
Aft-er he had concluded, Jonathan's men (who were among his
cleverest tenants,) in turn argued both questions with great ability,
showing that in regard to the fish ponds Jonathan did not claim a
right to fish within the three yard limit, but there was a dispute as
to what that limit meant, — whether it should follow the windings
of the inlets and creeks of the ponds, or be drawn from a line
between two rocky points called headlands ; and as some concessions
must be made by each party, if there was an earnest desire to settle
the matters between them, they were glad to find that John's party
were willing to waive the claim to such, provided some concession
was also made on the part of Jonathan. They were of opinion that
if the right to fish in Canadia's ponds were granted to Jonathan's
people, partly as an offset against the ' boat claims,' all matters
between them might be easily settled."
To this, however, Canadia's head manager objected, as he said :
" She had nothing whatever to do with the boat, and therefore was
not in any way to be identified with it; and as it was altogether a
matter for settlement between John and Jonathan, he did not consi-
der that her fish ponds should be mentioned in connection with it."
To which the rest of John's party agreed, saying that — "John would
rather pay the full claim than allow Canadia in any way to bear a
share of the responsibility.
Having agreed therefore that it would improve matters between
them to have these questions settled in a friendly manner, they con-
cluded their labors, the result of which will be given hereafter.
Everything having been thus brought to a close, nothing remained
but for John and Jonathan to agree to the terms proposed by their
advisers, which they did amid great rejoicings.
Ben, who had been anxiously watching to see how the affair
wxmld terminate, had made so sure of a different conclusion, that on
hearing the news his nervous system received a shock that caused
his old malady to assume a worse form in the shape of a virulent
disease called " Anglophobia," which was very catching, the symp-
toms being the same as in "Hydrophobia" of the present day, and
which it much resembled, so that he was obliged to be confined in a
place very like one of our Lunatic Asylums, to prevent him from
doing mischief. Ulysses therefore hearing that this disease was
caused by Ben's having opposed the result of the decision, and fear-
ing that the same symptons might be developed in him at once
advised Jonathan to agree to it. Thus a lasting friendship between
all concerned was from that time forth established, and the people
of each, subduing old animosities, encouraged everything that had a
tendency to make them better acquainted with one another.
" 'Mid war's alarms, and calls to arms,
Firm to each other stood
These people of a kindred blood,
As friends and neighbours should."
Bell & Woodburn. Book and Job Printers, Ottawa.
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